I have worked with Special Education students in some way for over 30 years! That sounded really nuts the first time I said it out loud in a meeting this year.
I started showing an interest in my chosen field when I was IN middle school, and now I have spent almost 10 years teaching middle school special education. Even before entering the classroom as a teacher I was working with a similar group in a different setting.
After lots of soul searching and considering how to best move my career forward, I have made a monumental decision. I am leaving the special education classroom behind. At least for a while.
I have decided that I want to teach Social Studies or Language Arts classes on our 6th grade team next year. Because The Oldest and Youngest will both be at the High School next door, I have no interest in leaving my campus. I've been on staff here since 2010. Still, it is time for me to grow into a new role as a teacher.
Last week I was starting to change my mind. Even if my current job is crazy some days, there is comfort in knowing my role. Next year I'll be jumping into the classroom as a new teacher in a new subject. In a lot of ways, it will be like starting over.
I am looking forward to giving up a lot of the detailed paperwork that my current job requires. I won't be fooled into thinking there will be none in my new position, but it will be different paperwork.
Monday, April 2, 2018
3 weeks and counting
Galaxy Girl and I are getting married in less than 3 weeks!
It's sort of wedding crazy around here. There is lots left to do in a short time, but this time is a lot different than twenty 23 years ago.
There is lots of busyness, but there is very little stress. There is a lot of cash going out, but its been very thoughtful and purposeful spending. The lady is getting hitched in a dress she bought online. I'm wearing my best suit.
Later this month we will be spending a chunk of change on a great party. That's where we choose to spend our efforts and cash. We are getting married in a party space at a local restaurant. All of the food and drinks will be top notch, and because everything will be done for us, we get to spend our time with friends and family.
Cheers to a good time and a happy marriage!
It's sort of wedding crazy around here. There is lots left to do in a short time, but this time is a lot different than twenty 23 years ago.
There is lots of busyness, but there is very little stress. There is a lot of cash going out, but its been very thoughtful and purposeful spending. The lady is getting hitched in a dress she bought online. I'm wearing my best suit.
Later this month we will be spending a chunk of change on a great party. That's where we choose to spend our efforts and cash. We are getting married in a party space at a local restaurant. All of the food and drinks will be top notch, and because everything will be done for us, we get to spend our time with friends and family.
Cheers to a good time and a happy marriage!
Friday, January 19, 2018
There just is no other way to put it
I'm pissed.
Yes. I know I said at the outset of this neglected blog that everything is wide open and that will help keep me accountable any time I feel the desire to rant about my situation, or more specifically, about my ex wife. But it is time to get on a good rant. I imagine she has forgotten about this space. If not, then, OK.
Today there was a simple situation involving our youngest. She needed a ride home from school mid-day because she was feeling lousy. She had not slept well last night. It's allergy season. Whatchagunnado?
If you don't know, I work at the school where the youngest goes. Our school is right next to her big brother's school. The ex lives about a mile away from the schools, but she works about 45 minutes away. It has not been uncommon since we separated that I run the kids to her house. Permission slips left at mom's house? Forgotten lunch? Missing uniform pieces? Gotcha covered.
It gets a little more complex when the kid is sick and it the week their mom has custody. Then, I try to bring their mom up to speed and we generally make a decision about the kid staying at school or leaving early. This happens a few times a year. In similar situations I have always dropped the kid off at her house, made sure they are comfortable, and then gone back to school. I can make that round trip in 15 minutes or less.
Today was different. I don't know if she was busy at work or whatever. That can be one of the upsides of a finalized divorce. I don't want to/need to/have to know what happens in the daily happenings of her life. Regardless, the conversation went sideways as quickly as it started. I heard way more than enough nastiness and venom in a few minutes.
Eventually, it was decided that The Girl needed to go home. At that point, I was still planning to do a favor and drop The Girl off.
The ex knows me well, including the best way to get under my skin. When it comes to our children, my biggest pet peeve is when she continually refers to the kids as a singular responsibility. "My kids. My daughter. My son." It doesn't bother me when she is speaking to anyone else. But when she says those things to me, I am pretty sure there is nothing she could say that would be more demeaning to the amazing 8 year run we shared when I was a Stay at Home Dad or to the awesome relationship I continue to have with these wonderful teenagers.
I don't reciprocate. These are not "my kids" when I am speaking to their mother.
So, for the first time ever, after enough garbage being verbally hurled at me, I decided that she would have to deal with this situation like any other single parent. 'Yes, I am 15 feet from the kid. Yes, you are 45 minutes away. Yes, I did change my mind because I am really tired of your nastiness.You'll have to come get her."
The end result, the kid still got to her mom's house two hours early. I feel like apologizing a hundred times to The Girl for not dropping her off. I never want either kid to feel stuck in the middle. For the most part I have done a good job of mitigating that. Today, maybe not.
On the other hand, today I stood up for something right. I sent an inconvenient message that I am tired of the nastiness.
Yes. I know I said at the outset of this neglected blog that everything is wide open and that will help keep me accountable any time I feel the desire to rant about my situation, or more specifically, about my ex wife. But it is time to get on a good rant. I imagine she has forgotten about this space. If not, then, OK.
Today there was a simple situation involving our youngest. She needed a ride home from school mid-day because she was feeling lousy. She had not slept well last night. It's allergy season. Whatchagunnado?
If you don't know, I work at the school where the youngest goes. Our school is right next to her big brother's school. The ex lives about a mile away from the schools, but she works about 45 minutes away. It has not been uncommon since we separated that I run the kids to her house. Permission slips left at mom's house? Forgotten lunch? Missing uniform pieces? Gotcha covered.
It gets a little more complex when the kid is sick and it the week their mom has custody. Then, I try to bring their mom up to speed and we generally make a decision about the kid staying at school or leaving early. This happens a few times a year. In similar situations I have always dropped the kid off at her house, made sure they are comfortable, and then gone back to school. I can make that round trip in 15 minutes or less.
Today was different. I don't know if she was busy at work or whatever. That can be one of the upsides of a finalized divorce. I don't want to/need to/have to know what happens in the daily happenings of her life. Regardless, the conversation went sideways as quickly as it started. I heard way more than enough nastiness and venom in a few minutes.
Eventually, it was decided that The Girl needed to go home. At that point, I was still planning to do a favor and drop The Girl off.
The ex knows me well, including the best way to get under my skin. When it comes to our children, my biggest pet peeve is when she continually refers to the kids as a singular responsibility. "My kids. My daughter. My son." It doesn't bother me when she is speaking to anyone else. But when she says those things to me, I am pretty sure there is nothing she could say that would be more demeaning to the amazing 8 year run we shared when I was a Stay at Home Dad or to the awesome relationship I continue to have with these wonderful teenagers.
I don't reciprocate. These are not "my kids" when I am speaking to their mother.
So, for the first time ever, after enough garbage being verbally hurled at me, I decided that she would have to deal with this situation like any other single parent. 'Yes, I am 15 feet from the kid. Yes, you are 45 minutes away. Yes, I did change my mind because I am really tired of your nastiness.You'll have to come get her."
The end result, the kid still got to her mom's house two hours early. I feel like apologizing a hundred times to The Girl for not dropping her off. I never want either kid to feel stuck in the middle. For the most part I have done a good job of mitigating that. Today, maybe not.
On the other hand, today I stood up for something right. I sent an inconvenient message that I am tired of the nastiness.
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Fire! Fire! FIRE!
I've worked all summer, reinventing our backyard space.
About 15 years ago I started building a simple swing set. After years working in public parks and recreation, I knew just enough about playground design to waaay overbuild a backyard swing set. I wasn't satisfied with the swing hangars available at the local hardware warehouse store, so I ordered commercial swing hangars. They were sturdy. Ridiculously so. But 15 years swung by and they never wobbled or wore out.
The overbuilt swing set morphed into an overbuilt playscape. Each Father's Day, Christmas Day, Birthday, the kids, with a little help from their mom, I suspect, would give me accessories and material to add to the 'scape. Ours was a well used backyard playspace!
Continuing on with the overbuilding of the play space in the back yard, I added a pea gravel-filled fall zone around the swing set and climbing structures. I added a LOT of pea gravel. To paraphrase U2, 'Maybe, maybe too much pea gravel' It really was a lot of pea gravel. Literal tons.
Anyways, 15 years later.
The swings sat unused for 6 months. The climbing tower and slides were starting to lean to a worrisome degree. The space underneath, built out as The Princess' playhouse, was taken over by our flock of backyard hens as a favorite hangout spot on sunny days. It was obvious that it was time for the playscape to be retired when I found a crack in the main pressure treated support beam. A couple of hours with a reciprocating saw and the playscape was in pieces, stacked beside the house. Yes, I was crying while cutting it up. There were a lot of good memories in that wood pile.
I started moving the pea gravel out of the fall zone several months ago. Ten shovels full to a wheelbarrow full. A million wheelbarrows full to an empty playscape fall zone. This week I finally finished that lowly task. Now there is a giant bare patch of earth just waiting for topsoil and turf to be put in place this fall. Yeah, more wheelbarrow work and stooping!
I decided that the replacement for the childhood play space would be an outdoor area where teens might be enticed to hang out. As it turns out, my kids will fall for s'mores. Burned up marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate all smooshed together near a backyard fire pit. Last week Miss GG, the kids, and I lit the the fire pit for the first s'mores roast. The kids hung out long enough to eat. It ruled! I was a happy dad.
A couple of nights ago the Princess and I sat out by the fire pit for more than an hour; the s'mores were long gone. I heard her talk about everything and nothing. She told me about school and her friends and stuff. I sat. I listened. I loved every second of it.
I cannot be happier with the re-imagining of our backyard space. This fire pit is going to get a workout this fall!
About 15 years ago I started building a simple swing set. After years working in public parks and recreation, I knew just enough about playground design to waaay overbuild a backyard swing set. I wasn't satisfied with the swing hangars available at the local hardware warehouse store, so I ordered commercial swing hangars. They were sturdy. Ridiculously so. But 15 years swung by and they never wobbled or wore out.
The overbuilt swing set morphed into an overbuilt playscape. Each Father's Day, Christmas Day, Birthday, the kids, with a little help from their mom, I suspect, would give me accessories and material to add to the 'scape. Ours was a well used backyard playspace!
Continuing on with the overbuilding of the play space in the back yard, I added a pea gravel-filled fall zone around the swing set and climbing structures. I added a LOT of pea gravel. To paraphrase U2, 'Maybe, maybe too much pea gravel' It really was a lot of pea gravel. Literal tons.
Anyways, 15 years later.
The swings sat unused for 6 months. The climbing tower and slides were starting to lean to a worrisome degree. The space underneath, built out as The Princess' playhouse, was taken over by our flock of backyard hens as a favorite hangout spot on sunny days. It was obvious that it was time for the playscape to be retired when I found a crack in the main pressure treated support beam. A couple of hours with a reciprocating saw and the playscape was in pieces, stacked beside the house. Yes, I was crying while cutting it up. There were a lot of good memories in that wood pile.
I started moving the pea gravel out of the fall zone several months ago. Ten shovels full to a wheelbarrow full. A million wheelbarrows full to an empty playscape fall zone. This week I finally finished that lowly task. Now there is a giant bare patch of earth just waiting for topsoil and turf to be put in place this fall. Yeah, more wheelbarrow work and stooping!
I decided that the replacement for the childhood play space would be an outdoor area where teens might be enticed to hang out. As it turns out, my kids will fall for s'mores. Burned up marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate all smooshed together near a backyard fire pit. Last week Miss GG, the kids, and I lit the the fire pit for the first s'mores roast. The kids hung out long enough to eat. It ruled! I was a happy dad.
A couple of nights ago the Princess and I sat out by the fire pit for more than an hour; the s'mores were long gone. I heard her talk about everything and nothing. She told me about school and her friends and stuff. I sat. I listened. I loved every second of it.
I cannot be happier with the re-imagining of our backyard space. This fire pit is going to get a workout this fall!
Friday, August 18, 2017
Here we are, once more again. Redux Part IIi
So I've been thinking about blogging again.I have almost 1900 posts, going back close to 15 years over at https://athomedaddy.blogspot.com/.
Since I quit writing over there, I've dealt with a seemingly unending divorce process, I've fought to regain 50% custody of The Talker and The Princess, I've remodeled our house (partially. I have only worked on it for about 18 months :) , and I've continued dating Miss GG. Actually, Miss GG and I have been engaged for a few months now.
The kids are still amazing and interesting and happy. It takes a lot of work, but that is one of the things that is most worth the effort in my world. After a year of a cluttered custody schedule that required several color coded spreadsheets and calendars to ALMOST keep straight, we were able to move to a much more kid-friendly 2 week rotation (one week at each house) a little more than a year ago. The new schedule is still working much better for everyone.
We are staring down a new school year! That is always a busy time around here. More so for the kids, since I am a teacher, they are busy with their own school and extracurricular activities, and their mom is a school employee, too. With all of that, The Talker and The Princess really do get a full Back to School experience every year.
School starts in 10 days. Summer 2018 starts in 185 school days. Who's counting? We are!!!
Since I quit writing over there, I've dealt with a seemingly unending divorce process, I've fought to regain 50% custody of The Talker and The Princess, I've remodeled our house (partially. I have only worked on it for about 18 months :) , and I've continued dating Miss GG. Actually, Miss GG and I have been engaged for a few months now.
The kids are still amazing and interesting and happy. It takes a lot of work, but that is one of the things that is most worth the effort in my world. After a year of a cluttered custody schedule that required several color coded spreadsheets and calendars to ALMOST keep straight, we were able to move to a much more kid-friendly 2 week rotation (one week at each house) a little more than a year ago. The new schedule is still working much better for everyone.
We are staring down a new school year! That is always a busy time around here. More so for the kids, since I am a teacher, they are busy with their own school and extracurricular activities, and their mom is a school employee, too. With all of that, The Talker and The Princess really do get a full Back to School experience every year.
School starts in 10 days. Summer 2018 starts in 185 school days. Who's counting? We are!!!
Sunday, February 19, 2017
It's been a long time
I haven't felt the need to write or post in a long while. Earlier this month I made several attempts at putting up a blog post here but it just didn't happen thanks to lots of busyness and a full schedule of work and kids.
Somehow, in all of the chaos and clutter of the last year, Miss GG has hung in there with me. It has been a year of learning and growing. Dating at 46 years old is not easy. Not that I was very good at it at 23 years old. This time around though I have a lot better credit cards and we seem to frequent much better restaurants.
Our first date was spontaneous and fun and exciting and it scared the hell out of me. I had been out on a few first dates and a couple of second dates (and one really miserable third date) before I met up with Miss GG. That night, in the process of getting to know something about each other, I stumbled and stammered through the dad/teacher/newly single stuff. At some point, though I really, REALLY planned not to, the conversation rolled around to the ex. After I spent way too much time trying to explain away my then contentious relationship with the mother of my children, I knew I had blown it. Nobody wants to listen some nervous man-child stammer on about his recent past busted relationship.
As I sheepishly apologized for monopolizing the conversation AND my poor choice of topic, Miss GG said something. I wish I had taken out a notepad and written it down, especially since that couldn't have possibly made the date any more awkward at that point. Essentially she said 'These relationships have made us the people we are'. It was simple and profound. I still feel like I have caught lightning in a Dr Pepper bottle. Miss GG is good to me and good for me. I'm sure trying to do the same for her.
Still, it IS hard to grow into a new relationship after so many years in one. Like a bonehead, I treated Valentine's Day like the non-event it was with the ex. She disliked the day with probably too much energy. Turns out that Miss GG feels NOT AT ALL the same way. That, my friends, is a good thing to know and you can bet I've already got a better system of reminding myself of that fact for next year.
Miss GG, it's been a heck of a fun year. Thanks for choosing to spend it with me.
Somehow, in all of the chaos and clutter of the last year, Miss GG has hung in there with me. It has been a year of learning and growing. Dating at 46 years old is not easy. Not that I was very good at it at 23 years old. This time around though I have a lot better credit cards and we seem to frequent much better restaurants.
Our first date was spontaneous and fun and exciting and it scared the hell out of me. I had been out on a few first dates and a couple of second dates (and one really miserable third date) before I met up with Miss GG. That night, in the process of getting to know something about each other, I stumbled and stammered through the dad/teacher/newly single stuff. At some point, though I really, REALLY planned not to, the conversation rolled around to the ex. After I spent way too much time trying to explain away my then contentious relationship with the mother of my children, I knew I had blown it. Nobody wants to listen some nervous man-child stammer on about his recent past busted relationship.
As I sheepishly apologized for monopolizing the conversation AND my poor choice of topic, Miss GG said something. I wish I had taken out a notepad and written it down, especially since that couldn't have possibly made the date any more awkward at that point. Essentially she said 'These relationships have made us the people we are'. It was simple and profound. I still feel like I have caught lightning in a Dr Pepper bottle. Miss GG is good to me and good for me. I'm sure trying to do the same for her.
Still, it IS hard to grow into a new relationship after so many years in one. Like a bonehead, I treated Valentine's Day like the non-event it was with the ex. She disliked the day with probably too much energy. Turns out that Miss GG feels NOT AT ALL the same way. That, my friends, is a good thing to know and you can bet I've already got a better system of reminding myself of that fact for next year.
Miss GG, it's been a heck of a fun year. Thanks for choosing to spend it with me.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Tired
I've been fighting for a year and I'm tired of it. It has not been an easy year.
Some days I swear I am ready to just stop fighting and let the chips fall where they may. Other days, I feel like I must stand my ground or else the needs of my kids will get lost in the chaos of post divorce.
Recently I had to watch my kids leave an event with an acquaintance because it is their mom's night to have custody and she was working late. Instead of asking me to run the kids to her house afterwards, she asked a parent of friends of our kids. Maybe she had a good reason, maybe not.
I want to be able to withstand a slight like this without giving it a second though, but I'm not there yet. This time it tied me up in knots and I wanted to fight the meanness of this choice. Unfortunately I don't even know how to respond beyond reminding their mother that I am almost always available to help out the kids as I emailed my disgust. Doesn't seem to change anything, but maybe it will someday.
The kids are doing well, despite the background noise. The school year is winding down and we are all three exhausted. The time together this summer will be awesome and fun. It will be fun and happy.
I'm almost three months into a new relationship. It is comfortable, honest, generous, and NOT exhausting. That makes me happy.
Last week I decided to get back on the bike. My main bike has 5000 miles on it since 2012, so I decided to upgrade. A new road rocket is now parked in my living room. It makes me happy and tired.
Some days I swear I am ready to just stop fighting and let the chips fall where they may. Other days, I feel like I must stand my ground or else the needs of my kids will get lost in the chaos of post divorce.
Recently I had to watch my kids leave an event with an acquaintance because it is their mom's night to have custody and she was working late. Instead of asking me to run the kids to her house afterwards, she asked a parent of friends of our kids. Maybe she had a good reason, maybe not.
I want to be able to withstand a slight like this without giving it a second though, but I'm not there yet. This time it tied me up in knots and I wanted to fight the meanness of this choice. Unfortunately I don't even know how to respond beyond reminding their mother that I am almost always available to help out the kids as I emailed my disgust. Doesn't seem to change anything, but maybe it will someday.
The kids are doing well, despite the background noise. The school year is winding down and we are all three exhausted. The time together this summer will be awesome and fun. It will be fun and happy.
I'm almost three months into a new relationship. It is comfortable, honest, generous, and NOT exhausting. That makes me happy.
Last week I decided to get back on the bike. My main bike has 5000 miles on it since 2012, so I decided to upgrade. A new road rocket is now parked in my living room. It makes me happy and tired.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)