So, you were getting married to your best girl the other day, while finishing grad school and raising two high schoolers. Then, a couple of years went by without writing any of it down.
The highlights:
TheFamily is doing terrific.
MaxiMe graduates from high school in a few months. College is in the plan. WHERE is still to be decided. Dad is hoping for less than an hour away :)
The Artist now lives most of the time here, with Galaxy Girl and me. We changed the custody plan a while back and our extra time together is awesome. Still have a couple of years of high school before I need to start pushing nearby colleges on The Artist.
Galaxy Girl has grown into the role of stepMOM in a way that is astounding and at the same time, not very surprising. Caring for people is what we do around here. She was taking care of her tribe well before meeting any of us. We are just lucky that we get the lioness’ share of her efforts nowadays.
I finished grad school. I passed all of the certification tests. I’m licensed as a public school administrator but still working as a Special Education teacher until the right spot opens up in campus administration. Hoping that I’ll be working as a campus Assistant Principal in the next couple of years.
Until then, I’m preparing for a return to the campus where I did most of my years as a teacher. I’m currently teaching at a high school, but I’ll be back on a middle school campus soon. I didn’t completely realize how important my “home” campus was to me until I left there over the summer. An opportunity to return opened up, and I’ll be back there soon.
And now for the noteworthy lowlights:
Yeah, I got nothin’ worth mentioning.
Yep. I am a lucky Dad. Can confirm.
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Sunday, January 5, 2020
Monday, April 2, 2018
3 weeks and counting
Galaxy Girl and I are getting married in less than 3 weeks!
It's sort of wedding crazy around here. There is lots left to do in a short time, but this time is a lot different than twenty 23 years ago.
There is lots of busyness, but there is very little stress. There is a lot of cash going out, but its been very thoughtful and purposeful spending. The lady is getting hitched in a dress she bought online. I'm wearing my best suit.
Later this month we will be spending a chunk of change on a great party. That's where we choose to spend our efforts and cash. We are getting married in a party space at a local restaurant. All of the food and drinks will be top notch, and because everything will be done for us, we get to spend our time with friends and family.
Cheers to a good time and a happy marriage!
It's sort of wedding crazy around here. There is lots left to do in a short time, but this time is a lot different than twenty 23 years ago.
There is lots of busyness, but there is very little stress. There is a lot of cash going out, but its been very thoughtful and purposeful spending. The lady is getting hitched in a dress she bought online. I'm wearing my best suit.
Later this month we will be spending a chunk of change on a great party. That's where we choose to spend our efforts and cash. We are getting married in a party space at a local restaurant. All of the food and drinks will be top notch, and because everything will be done for us, we get to spend our time with friends and family.
Cheers to a good time and a happy marriage!
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Tired
I've been fighting for a year and I'm tired of it. It has not been an easy year.
Some days I swear I am ready to just stop fighting and let the chips fall where they may. Other days, I feel like I must stand my ground or else the needs of my kids will get lost in the chaos of post divorce.
Recently I had to watch my kids leave an event with an acquaintance because it is their mom's night to have custody and she was working late. Instead of asking me to run the kids to her house afterwards, she asked a parent of friends of our kids. Maybe she had a good reason, maybe not.
I want to be able to withstand a slight like this without giving it a second though, but I'm not there yet. This time it tied me up in knots and I wanted to fight the meanness of this choice. Unfortunately I don't even know how to respond beyond reminding their mother that I am almost always available to help out the kids as I emailed my disgust. Doesn't seem to change anything, but maybe it will someday.
The kids are doing well, despite the background noise. The school year is winding down and we are all three exhausted. The time together this summer will be awesome and fun. It will be fun and happy.
I'm almost three months into a new relationship. It is comfortable, honest, generous, and NOT exhausting. That makes me happy.
Last week I decided to get back on the bike. My main bike has 5000 miles on it since 2012, so I decided to upgrade. A new road rocket is now parked in my living room. It makes me happy and tired.
Some days I swear I am ready to just stop fighting and let the chips fall where they may. Other days, I feel like I must stand my ground or else the needs of my kids will get lost in the chaos of post divorce.
Recently I had to watch my kids leave an event with an acquaintance because it is their mom's night to have custody and she was working late. Instead of asking me to run the kids to her house afterwards, she asked a parent of friends of our kids. Maybe she had a good reason, maybe not.
I want to be able to withstand a slight like this without giving it a second though, but I'm not there yet. This time it tied me up in knots and I wanted to fight the meanness of this choice. Unfortunately I don't even know how to respond beyond reminding their mother that I am almost always available to help out the kids as I emailed my disgust. Doesn't seem to change anything, but maybe it will someday.
The kids are doing well, despite the background noise. The school year is winding down and we are all three exhausted. The time together this summer will be awesome and fun. It will be fun and happy.
I'm almost three months into a new relationship. It is comfortable, honest, generous, and NOT exhausting. That makes me happy.
Last week I decided to get back on the bike. My main bike has 5000 miles on it since 2012, so I decided to upgrade. A new road rocket is now parked in my living room. It makes me happy and tired.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Sometimes Normal is Really Odd
One of the hardest parts of getting divorced has been trying to get to agreement about how the kids time should be divided up. It's really import to get right because our kids are still young. We had to find something that worked for the next 7 years. Add to that the hard fact that I was trying to agree about important stuff with someone in whom I wasn't seeing any common ground anymore.
In the end we have a custody schedule that is highly customized for our situation. I end up with 50% of the kids time, but I get large chunks of time in the summer to make up for the little less than half I have the kids for overnights during the school year. Of course, I still see the kids every school day, since I teach at their school.
We are just finishing up a week of Spring Break from school. The kids will have been with me for 11 of 12 days when they return to school on Monday. This Dad is worn out! I'm ready for school to start back so that I can get some rest.
I have several friends who do the single parent job without shared custody. On parent duty 100% of the time. Kudos to them! They make it look easy and efficient. After 12 days I'll be ready for a couple of days off Dad duty and that feels really odd.
An update, the girlfriend and I have made a leap. It's the 2016 version of two high schoolers wearing swapped class rings. The relationship is now available as a status update on Facebook. Having that information out in public has been a little exciting and a lot surreal. It's all great, but it is one more huge experience that I never thought I would have.
Lots of great stuff, still loads of odd. Always interesting.
In the end we have a custody schedule that is highly customized for our situation. I end up with 50% of the kids time, but I get large chunks of time in the summer to make up for the little less than half I have the kids for overnights during the school year. Of course, I still see the kids every school day, since I teach at their school.
We are just finishing up a week of Spring Break from school. The kids will have been with me for 11 of 12 days when they return to school on Monday. This Dad is worn out! I'm ready for school to start back so that I can get some rest.
I have several friends who do the single parent job without shared custody. On parent duty 100% of the time. Kudos to them! They make it look easy and efficient. After 12 days I'll be ready for a couple of days off Dad duty and that feels really odd.
An update, the girlfriend and I have made a leap. It's the 2016 version of two high schoolers wearing swapped class rings. The relationship is now available as a status update on Facebook. Having that information out in public has been a little exciting and a lot surreal. It's all great, but it is one more huge experience that I never thought I would have.
Lots of great stuff, still loads of odd. Always interesting.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Surprising myself quickly
This year is supposed to be amazing. That's my plan and it's a very good plan.
And like the old joke, you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning, I'm trying to get an early start on a great year. I'm a 45 year old dude. Dad of two. Recently and quickly divorced. Still trying to figure out what the hell just happened and simultaneously looking forward to an amazing future.
I assumed early on that would be a 1/2 solo future for a long time. The kids are with me half time, so I don't really expect anything a lot different at those times. But the other half. Six months ago that scared the shit out of me. I wasn't sure I could do alone.
A few months ago, when the kids were at their mom's house, I reflected and realized that I had a great life a year ago, had gone through some crap, and was looking right into a great future, even the solo time that I was learning how to use. It was an awesome moment that didn't last very long. I felt guilty for seeing something positive in the time without kids. I funked back up pretty quickly after that.
In November I tried to go on a date. She is a friend. It was a flop. My destiny was secured, I was set to be a bachelor once more. It was a cool future. A subscription to GQ may have been purchased. New cologne and clothes were bought. Shoes. Ridiculous shoes! I was going to look good as a solo dude. But it didn't stick. In December I tried dating again. Dating sucks.
In January I tried again (sucked) but I missed Valentine's Day and saved some bank. Dating is stupid anyways.
A few days later I was on another, very spontaneous first date. A follow up and lots more dates have followed. Dating is awesome!
I don't know the future. I don't know where this leads in a few months or a year. But I've decided that I don't want to be the next contestant on The Bachelor. After lots of long, deep discussions and hours of think time, I know this about myself - I like having people around me to care about. I also like having someone to laugh with and to make inappropriate jokes, usually at my expense. It suits me.
There is a lot to figure out. When to introduce kids, when to expose her to the family at-large. How to navigate the crap that drug down past relationships without making the same mistakes. This is really important stuff and not to be taken lightly. Evidently quickly may be acceptable.
I'm ok. I'm good alone. But right now I'm better with her. And I like that a lot.
And like the old joke, you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning, I'm trying to get an early start on a great year. I'm a 45 year old dude. Dad of two. Recently and quickly divorced. Still trying to figure out what the hell just happened and simultaneously looking forward to an amazing future.
I assumed early on that would be a 1/2 solo future for a long time. The kids are with me half time, so I don't really expect anything a lot different at those times. But the other half. Six months ago that scared the shit out of me. I wasn't sure I could do alone.
A few months ago, when the kids were at their mom's house, I reflected and realized that I had a great life a year ago, had gone through some crap, and was looking right into a great future, even the solo time that I was learning how to use. It was an awesome moment that didn't last very long. I felt guilty for seeing something positive in the time without kids. I funked back up pretty quickly after that.
In November I tried to go on a date. She is a friend. It was a flop. My destiny was secured, I was set to be a bachelor once more. It was a cool future. A subscription to GQ may have been purchased. New cologne and clothes were bought. Shoes. Ridiculous shoes! I was going to look good as a solo dude. But it didn't stick. In December I tried dating again. Dating sucks.
In January I tried again (sucked) but I missed Valentine's Day and saved some bank. Dating is stupid anyways.
A few days later I was on another, very spontaneous first date. A follow up and lots more dates have followed. Dating is awesome!
I don't know the future. I don't know where this leads in a few months or a year. But I've decided that I don't want to be the next contestant on The Bachelor. After lots of long, deep discussions and hours of think time, I know this about myself - I like having people around me to care about. I also like having someone to laugh with and to make inappropriate jokes, usually at my expense. It suits me.
There is a lot to figure out. When to introduce kids, when to expose her to the family at-large. How to navigate the crap that drug down past relationships without making the same mistakes. This is really important stuff and not to be taken lightly. Evidently quickly may be acceptable.
I'm ok. I'm good alone. But right now I'm better with her. And I like that a lot.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Thankful
I have a lot of reasons to be thankful.
The two biggest, and my favorite reasons for everything in my entire universe, Kid 1 and Kid 2. The Oldest and The Youngest. The Boy, The Girl. Whatever they are called, I am thankful every day that these two call me dad.
I have a wonderful life. I never would have imagined this life a year ago. And especially not two years ago. My first real clue that my marriage was on the rocks came about unexpectedly on Thanksgiving night, 2013. It has taken me most of those two years to remember the many things that SHOULD make me grateful. Every. Single. Day.
I come from an amazing family. Siblings, parents, and all the extended family, these are good people who really rally when the chips are down. The past seven months have revealed this frequently. Every nasty surprise, every emotional roller ride, and every unexpected cash infusion. Lawyers can burn through some cash! My people have stuck by me. That is a lot of reasons to be thankful.
Maybe surprisingly, I am thankful for the past twenty years. It didn't end the way I expected, but the mother of my children and I were a good pair for a very long time. And we made amazing kids.
Add to that, I have an amazing job working with students I really like and a staff of coworkers who I love like family, and I am in the greatest teaching situation I could ever imagine. My coworkers have been through the daily wringer with me and they stood by me through the entire process. I am lucky to get to spend8 10 hours a day with this crew.
This is not the life I planned for. This is not the life I wanted or expected. But THIS is the life I am grateful to enjoy with my family and friends. Without the craziness of the last 7 months, I might not have realized how many things lead me to be thankful.
The two biggest, and my favorite reasons for everything in my entire universe, Kid 1 and Kid 2. The Oldest and The Youngest. The Boy, The Girl. Whatever they are called, I am thankful every day that these two call me dad.
I have a wonderful life. I never would have imagined this life a year ago. And especially not two years ago. My first real clue that my marriage was on the rocks came about unexpectedly on Thanksgiving night, 2013. It has taken me most of those two years to remember the many things that SHOULD make me grateful. Every. Single. Day.
I come from an amazing family. Siblings, parents, and all the extended family, these are good people who really rally when the chips are down. The past seven months have revealed this frequently. Every nasty surprise, every emotional roller ride, and every unexpected cash infusion. Lawyers can burn through some cash! My people have stuck by me. That is a lot of reasons to be thankful.
Maybe surprisingly, I am thankful for the past twenty years. It didn't end the way I expected, but the mother of my children and I were a good pair for a very long time. And we made amazing kids.
Add to that, I have an amazing job working with students I really like and a staff of coworkers who I love like family, and I am in the greatest teaching situation I could ever imagine. My coworkers have been through the daily wringer with me and they stood by me through the entire process. I am lucky to get to spend
This is not the life I planned for. This is not the life I wanted or expected. But THIS is the life I am grateful to enjoy with my family and friends. Without the craziness of the last 7 months, I might not have realized how many things lead me to be thankful.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Old hobbies, a resounding success
Since separating from the ex wife I have been hitting up a few live music venues a month. I had forgotten how much I like to see musicians and performers in front of a good audience. Thanks to living in a music crazed town, I was able to start catching up with all of the great music I have missed.
Over the summer and into the fall I have seen Dale Watson, Lyle Lovett, John Hiatt, and a handful of local acts. This weekend I go to see Don Williams and next month Bruce Robinson and Kelly Willis. That's a lot of great music in six months.
I've already bought tickets for shows next spring, too. Next February I go to see Shinyribs and in March, Randy Newman.
I'm enjoying getting to see live music again. But the best part is that I have taken a guest along to each show. It has been a lot of fun finding someone to go with me to each concert. I've enjoyed getting to spend quality time with my amazing friends.
Over the summer and into the fall I have seen Dale Watson, Lyle Lovett, John Hiatt, and a handful of local acts. This weekend I go to see Don Williams and next month Bruce Robinson and Kelly Willis. That's a lot of great music in six months.
I've already bought tickets for shows next spring, too. Next February I go to see Shinyribs and in March, Randy Newman.
I'm enjoying getting to see live music again. But the best part is that I have taken a guest along to each show. It has been a lot of fun finding someone to go with me to each concert. I've enjoyed getting to spend quality time with my amazing friends.
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