I'm pissed.
Yes. I know I said at the outset of this neglected blog that everything is wide open and that will help keep me accountable any time I feel the desire to rant about my situation, or more specifically, about my ex wife. But it is time to get on a good rant. I imagine she has forgotten about this space. If not, then, OK.
Today there was a simple situation involving our youngest. She needed a ride home from school mid-day because she was feeling lousy. She had not slept well last night. It's allergy season. Whatchagunnado?
If you don't know, I work at the school where the youngest goes. Our school is right next to her big brother's school. The ex lives about a mile away from the schools, but she works about 45 minutes away. It has not been uncommon since we separated that I run the kids to her house. Permission slips left at mom's house? Forgotten lunch? Missing uniform pieces? Gotcha covered.
It gets a little more complex when the kid is sick and it the week their mom has custody. Then, I try to bring their mom up to speed and we generally make a decision about the kid staying at school or leaving early. This happens a few times a year. In similar situations I have always dropped the kid off at her house, made sure they are comfortable, and then gone back to school. I can make that round trip in 15 minutes or less.
Today was different. I don't know if she was busy at work or whatever. That can be one of the upsides of a finalized divorce. I don't want to/need to/have to know what happens in the daily happenings of her life. Regardless, the conversation went sideways as quickly as it started. I heard way more than enough nastiness and venom in a few minutes.
Eventually, it was decided that The Girl needed to go home. At that point, I was still planning to do a favor and drop The Girl off.
The ex knows me well, including the best way to get under my skin. When it comes to our children, my biggest pet peeve is when she continually refers to the kids as a singular responsibility. "My kids. My daughter. My son." It doesn't bother me when she is speaking to anyone else. But when she says those things to me, I am pretty sure there is nothing she could say that would be more demeaning to the amazing 8 year run we shared when I was a Stay at Home Dad or to the awesome relationship I continue to have with these wonderful teenagers.
I don't reciprocate. These are not "my kids" when I am speaking to their mother.
So, for the first time ever, after enough garbage being verbally hurled at me, I decided that she would have to deal with this situation like any other single parent. 'Yes, I am 15 feet from the kid. Yes, you are 45 minutes away. Yes, I did change my mind because I am really tired of your nastiness.You'll have to come get her."
The end result, the kid still got to her mom's house two hours early. I feel like apologizing a hundred times to The Girl for not dropping her off. I never want either kid to feel stuck in the middle. For the most part I have done a good job of mitigating that. Today, maybe not.
On the other hand, today I stood up for something right. I sent an inconvenient message that I am tired of the nastiness.
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