Divorce is exactly opposite of the joy and great fun of a wedding celebration. It's a cold and unfeeling process. My lawyer warned me about this idea early on.
Part of the process I wish would end quickly, the endings.
It seems that I often need to do some thing one last time to move this divorce to a new, further state of completion. Today it was one last time to deal with the collected seasonal decorations and ornaments for a Christmas tree I evidently lost somewhere between the house being cleaned out and a judge's gavel. I was really interested to see and keep the ornaments and decorations the kids made when they were preschoolers. When it came time to start dividing up the collection, those are the things I chose.
Last week I bought a new artificial tree for our little house. One huge benefit of the past 6 months, our house is relatively uncluttered now. Imagine your living room. Now imagine someone removing half of your junk. Voila!
The tree I bought is about two or three feet shorter than it's predecessor and it fits in a spot that the larger never would. This new tree also fits with the uncluttered feel of this new life, but that may be due to the small number of ornaments the kids used to decorate the new tree. As quickly as I got home, I added the recollected treasures to our little tree. This is now the perfect Christmas Tree!
Still, it is sad to see a bunch of things that we collected together over half a life time strewn across a garage floor, waiting to be picked, one ornament at a time. It was like choosing up teams for the worst after school basketball game ever.
Really though, it was just one more last time to remind me of the way things once were and how they won't be again. Not even after the last, last time.This should be the last of the shared "stuff" to deal with. We still have to deal with 25 years of photographs and videos, but that is another issue, for another last time. Maybe that will be the end of it, too.
Ah Mike... I hear you, man. Many "things" can be replaced, but the things with memories attached are difficult. My perspective of divorce is different than many, I think. The past few years I have set up the Christmas tree, I wonder if it is the last time, and how we will divide the sentimental ornaments. And the photos and videos... Those things were never meant to be divided any more than children were meant to be shared. Divorce SUCKS!
ReplyDeleteI am so not looking forward to it... but, as I have said in prior comments... it is almost a guarantee.
As to non sentimental things... I find myself stockpiling some things.... last year my wife wanted a new kitchen knife set. Her parents got her one. She started to get rid of the old set and I said "box it up, it will probably come in handy some day". She rolls her eyes and gets annoyed by that... which is odd because this whole divorce thing is her doing, not mine.
Hang in there, Mike... and Merry Christmas to you!