I've been fighting for a year and I'm tired of it. It has not been an easy year.
Some days I swear I am ready to just stop fighting and let the chips fall where they may. Other days, I feel like I must stand my ground or else the needs of my kids will get lost in the chaos of post divorce.
Recently I had to watch my kids leave an event with an acquaintance because it is their mom's night to have custody and she was working late. Instead of asking me to run the kids to her house afterwards, she asked a parent of friends of our kids. Maybe she had a good reason, maybe not.
I want to be able to withstand a slight like this without giving it a second though, but I'm not there yet. This time it tied me up in knots and I wanted to fight the meanness of this choice. Unfortunately I don't even know how to respond beyond reminding their mother that I am almost always available to help out the kids as I emailed my disgust. Doesn't seem to change anything, but maybe it will someday.
The kids are doing well, despite the background noise. The school year is winding down and we are all three exhausted. The time together this summer will be awesome and fun. It will be fun and happy.
I'm almost three months into a new relationship. It is comfortable, honest, generous, and NOT exhausting. That makes me happy.
Last week I decided to get back on the bike. My main bike has 5000 miles on it since 2012, so I decided to upgrade. A new road rocket is now parked in my living room. It makes me happy and tired.
